Chapter 16: I Would
“The
only thing constant in life is change.”
-François de la
Rochefoucauld
Jamarcus drove down the long, windy
driveway that led to the Jacob’s Ranch.
He could see why Joe and Sandra had been so anxious to sell the club and
retire to their 20 acres in the woods up the mountain. He could smell the fresh pine scent as he
unlatched the gate leading up to their log cabin. He expected to see another car belonging to
his mystery date parked in their roundabout, but was disappointed that it
seemed he would be a lone guest again. No
worries. He loved his weekly dinner
dates with his new family. Joe and
Sandra had helped Jamarcus find a place to live in a timely manner but while he
was still looking, he had been their guest for his first two weeks in
Montana. He had been impressed with the
caliber of people living in this small town.
True to what Joe had told him, their town was indeed safe. They weren’t kidding about nobody locking
their doors. Jamarcus had no idea that
there was still a place that existed in this world where that could even be an
option. He was really blown away at how
many people he saw leave their car running as they ran into the grocery store
to grab a quick gallon of milk. He
thought that was just plain crazy and he hoped and prayed that no predator
would ever figure out the lack of security in this valley. But even with all the amazing people in this
town, Jamarcus had not been able to find anyone he wanted to date so he was
excited about this blind date.
Out
of the corner of his eye, he saw a deer dash behind the tree in front of the
house as he rang the doorbell to the huge oak door. Sandra opened the door with her usual
motherly smile. “Come on in,” she cheerfully
ushered him in and gave him a big hug.
Her curly grey hair bounced as she showed him the way to the
kitchen. The aroma of a crockpot pull of
roast and potatoes filled the entire cabin.
Jamarcus couldn’t wait to dig in.
Sandra wore a brown apron embroidered with beautiful colorful
beads. Inscribed on the top portion of
the apron were the words, “Be Happy”.
Jamarcus thought about how well Sandra lived her positive affirmation. She was always upbeat. Even when things went wrong, Sandra would always
say, “Don’t look at the cup as half full Jamarcus, look at it as half
full…Actually, come to think of it, I bet if you looked hard enough you would
find that your cup was overflowing!”
Once
Jamarcus moved out west, he was excited to find out that Joe Jacobs was the
Bishop of the LDS ward in Boomerang Valley.
His last year at University of Miami, he had looked into a study of the
Bible. In a twist of fate, he had
enrolled in the LDS institute program which started his journey in the gospel
of Jesus Christ. Just as his mom had
admonished him, he had put God first. As
he learned of the restored gospel to the earth in the 1800’s, he recognized
truth when he heard it. He had taken
lessons from the missionaries serving in the Miami area. With each lesson he was taught gospel
principles which would lead him to peace and happiness in this life and in the
life to come. He started reading the
Book of Mormon and couldn’t put it down.
He loved the story of Enos because he knew what it was like to pray for
long periods of time. He thought back to
the Laughing Waters painting and relived kneeling in the warm sand, with the
yearning to give all his sins away. And
then when he read about Christ visiting the America’s, he was filled with the
spirit of God and he knew that what he was reading was true. Jamarcus was thankful to apply the healing
principles of the atonement to feel a full and complete forgiveness for his
sins. He could hardly wait to enter the
waters of baptism. He was so thankful
that he was living a God centered life free of addictions and vices. When he came up out of the water on his
baptism day six months earlier, he indeed was spotless before the Lord. And as strange as it sounded, he felt as if
his parents had been at his baptism in spirit.
He could almost feel his mom and dad smiling down at him.
As
a new member of the Church, he was hesitant to move all the way to
Montana. He didn’t know how he would be
accepted. He had heard that Montana was
not very ethnically diverse so he worried about prejudice. His first weeks here, he had run into some
ignorant white people who made him wish he had stayed in Florida. As he went for a walk from his apartment to
the grocery store, he found it disconcerting that some people, stopped in their
cars at the one stoplight in town, would lean over their passenger seat to lock
their doors. Jamarcus tried to ignore
this type of behavior but deep inside, he was hurt that anyone would ever be
afraid of him. Jamarcus was a large,
muscular, man living in the middle of nowhere Caucasian Montana. Of course he stuck out in the community, but
when he was at church, he was just one of the family.
Bishop Jacobs had taken
Jamarcus under his wing and had made sure he felt wanted and needed. The Jacob’s family had been criticized for
letting this stranger live with them, but soon Jamarcus proved his integrity to
everyone. Sandra was used to sitting by
herself since her husband always sat on the stand so she especially loved
having Jamarcus sit with her in the congregation. Jamarcus was called to teach a youth Sunday
School class. He loved getting to know
the youth in his ward, he was able to establish a great repoire with them. He felt like he was the luckiest guy in the
world because every time he taught a lesson, he would always learn more than
the students did. He continued to grow
in the Gospel and was starting to understand what it meant to be a true
disciple of Christ. When he had questions, he would save them for
his dinners at the Jacobs.
Jamarcus
took his place at the table while he waited for the food to be brought in from
the kitchen. Bishop Jacobs entered the
room as he finished a phone conversation.
“Jamarcus, so good to
see you!” Jamarcus stood and shook his
hand firmly.
“So where is this mystery date?” he inquired.
“Dani isn’t going to be
able to make it tonight.”
Sandra entered the room
carrying a basket full of freshly baked rolls.
“Is everything alright,
honey?”
“Well, she said things
were fine and she even told us not to worry.
She is just wiped out and needs to rest.”
“The fact that she said
don’t worry just makes me worry even more!
Her parents are still out of town for the baptism of their
granddaughter, aren’t they?”
“Oh wow, I totally
forgot that they left yesterday.”
“Jamarcus, our
granddaughter Dani lives in town close to your apartment. Would you mind taking over a plate of food
after we are done here?”
“Oooh, so I get to meet
her afterall?” he said teasingly.
Sandra brought out a
stoneware casserole dish full of steaming, scrumptious, lean elk meat topped
with potatoes and carrots smothered in meat juices.
“Let’s bless the food
before we dig in,” said Bishop Jacobs.
After they said Amen,
Sandra continued talking while dishing up the two men and herself.
“Now Jamarcus, I hope
you won’t pre-judge our granddaughter.
She doesn’t have the best reputation and certainly has horrible luck
with dating lately. But I can assure
you, deep down inside she is a good girl.
She hasn’t been to church in a while, but she still clings to the
standards she was raised with.”
Jamarcus thought it
strange that he had lived in Boomerang Valley for almost four months now and he
had never met this mysterious Dani he was always being told about. Jamarcus had gotten to know just about everyone
through working at the fitness club.
Maybe he had seen her before but just didn’t know it. He asked Joe and Sandra, “Tell me a little
bit about her.”
Bishop Jacobs gave a
brief overview by saying that she was a waitress saving her every penny to get back
to college. She only had one semester
left but had taken a break to come back home and earn money. He told Jamarcus of the high energy Dani had
about her. She was creative and always
up for a new adventure. He laughed to
himself when he said, “She’s kind of a klutz though when trying something
new. Honey, remember the time she went
skiing with us. I never knew legs could
get in such an awkward placement. We
still laugh about that one to this day.”
When Sandra talked about Dani, she described her as cute, driven,
athletic, and fun.
Joe added, “Dani’s
passion is dancing. Most recently she
has been attending some sort of Zoo….zooo…oh hon, what’s the name of that latin
fitness dance craze?”
“Zumba, dear. Dani loves to Zumba. I hear she is really good at it too.”
But what Bishop Jacobs
said next, made Jamarcus drop his fork on his plate, which then ricocheted onto
the hard wood floor.
“Yep, our little Dani
works out at the fitness club at least three times a week. I’m surprised you haven’t met her yet.”
Sandra added, “She’s
been working out with that young man who is home recovering from battle
wounds. I think he is getting ready to
be deployed again soon. His grandmother
told me his physical therapy is going as according to plan. He should be back out in the field in no
time. Jamarcus, is everything ok? You haven’t picked up your fork, yet.”
Jamarcus reached down
under the table to grab his fork but on his way back up he smacked his head on
the underside of the table. How had he
not put two and two together? Dani was
Danielle? He thought back to seeing how
beat up she had looked, getting out of Caleb’s car and then it made sense why
she wouldn’t have been able to make it to their dinner date.
Jamarcus tried to
regain his composure as he asked, “Did you tell Dani it was me you were setting
her up with?”
“Why no, dear. She tends to prejudge and although we love
her to pieces, she can be a little bit shallow when it comes to the guys she
dates. We thought it better that she not
know who she had a date with to make it a true blind date!” Sandra giggled.
The rest of the dinner,
Jamarcus continued to ask questions about the mystery date who hadn’t shown
up. He was intrigued with the stories
they told of their “little Dani”. She sounded
like so much fun to be around. She
sounded like everything he was looking for in a woman: smart, active, good with
kids, hard worker, and easy going. Apparently
she had a gift for public speaking and singing too. She had sung the National Anthem at quite a
few events in Boomerang Valley throughout the years. Sandra said that most of all though, she just
loved to watch Dani dance. Dancing was
her life! The only thing that worried
Jamarcus about Dani was that he had never seen her in church. He
wondered if he could possibly date someone who did not put God first in their
life too.
True to his word, after
dinner, Sandra packed a nice huge helping of roast and potatoes for him to
deliver to their granddaughter that had a rough day. Jamarcus was excited to deliver it to her and
find out what had happened to her that had made her so muddy and
unpresentable. And why was she
limping? All those questions would be
answered soon enough. He hugged Sandra
and found himself wondering if that’s where Dani had gotten her curly hair
from. Bishop Jacobs stuck out his hand
for another firm handshake and asked Jamarcus to fill them in on Dani’s
condition. If there was anything they
could do to help, they would.
Jamarcus carefully put
the plate of food wrapped in tin foil on the passenger seat next to him as he
drove back down the mountain and into town.
The address Joe and Sandra had given him was only two blocks away from
his own home. He checked himself in the
rearview mirror to make sure no food was stuck in his teeth. He rang the doorbell and waited. As he waited, through the window he could see
Danielle wiping away tears on a tissue, and then she hobbled her way to the
door. She looked like she was in a great
deal of pain. Jamarcus noted how she had
cleaned herself up. She had obviously
just gotten out of the shower and had thrown her hair up in a ponytail. She still hadn’t put makeup on but Jamarcus
thought just how much more beautiful she was without it anyway.
She opened the door and
was surprised to see Jamarcus Demont standing in the doorway of her parent’s
house. His huge 6’4” muscular body
filled the entire door frame. As she
looked into his eyes, she could tell that something was different. Jamarcus had never given her the time of day
at the fitness center but now here he was, at her house, without being
asked. Why? Jamarcus said, “Hello Danielle, your
grandparents asked me to bring this to you.
They thought you could use a homecooked meal tonight after the day
you’ve been through. May I come in?”
Danielle was
embarrassed that she was just standing and staring at Jamarcus. Where were her manners? “Of course, of course. I am so sorry, it’s just that I wasn’t
expecting…well…you. Please come in,” she
said as she took the foil wrapped plate and limped over to her kitchen counter
to set it down.
Jamarcus wasn’t sure
how to take her comment. What did she
mean by “you”? Was that a good thing or
a bad thing?
“How did you know I am
the Jacob’s granddaughter? No way…don’t
tell me… Were you supposed to be my
blind date or something?”
“Actually, yes. And I
was just as surprised as you once I made the connection.” They both laughed nervously until Jamarcus
took the foil off the plate. Danielle
dug into her food like a ravenous beast.
It looked like she hadn’t seen food in years. Jamarcus smiled as he watched her. She was so different inside the walls of her
own house than she appeared to be at the club.
What was so different, he wondered to himself. She was…real.
He liked that. Jamarcus sat down
on the barstool next to Danielle. She
had on pajama shorts and could tell that her knee was swollen up like a
grapefruit. “What the heck happened to
your knee?” he asked. “Oh that? Just one more injury from my klutziness. I slammed my knee in a car door,” she said
matter of factly.
“Ouch, girl…you ok?”
Danielle swallowed her
bite of elk meat and looked into Jamarcus’ eyes as she answered, “I’ve never
been in more pain in my entire life yet somehow I have never felt more ok.”
“Do you mind if I take
a look at your knee? I took some classes
about sports injuries in college.”
“No kidding? So did I!” Danielle exclaimed. I am pretty sure I’m alright. I just got out of the shower and was planning
on icing it as soon as I got out…but then you were here…and I was too hungry to
think straight. Go ahead and take a look at it if you want…but it looks pretty
nasty.”
Jamarcus knelt down on
the kitchen linoleum and wrapped his hands around her knee. “Tell me if this hurts.” He poked and prodded at her knee just as a
physical therapist would. He gently
moved her knee back and forth and saw Danielle grimace in pain.
“Oooh, yeah…that
kills!”
He touched her other
knee to compare the swollen size and asked her if she had any ibuprofen. Danielle nodded yes and explained that she
had just taken some right before he had shown up. “If I were you, I would have a doctor take a
look at it and make sure you didn’t break your patella.”
“I doubt I broke it…it
feels like a sprain to me. I should have
stayed off of it when the cardoor slammed it, but that was this morning. Then I went hiking and it kind of just got
worse and worse throughout the day. Caleb
and I, well, we uh got stuck on a cliff and …wow, that seems like years ago!” Danielle finished her dinner and Jamarcus
took her dishes to the sink. He helped
get Danielle situated on the recliner with her leg elevated. He brought her a glass of ice water and set
up a tv tray for the remote control to the tv, her ipod, and her phone.
“Those are some amazing
grandparents you have there, Dani,”
he teasingly called her by her grandparent’s pet name.
“Wow, nobody calls me
Dani except them. When I was little, I
had a super short haircut that made it confusing to tell if I was a boy or a
girl. People started calling me Dani as
a way to make fun of me until my hair grew out.
Once it grew out though I was adamant that people call me by my real
name, “Danielle.” One day I was being
babysat by my grandma and she said, I shouldn’t worry so much about what people
call me or even what they think if me.
She told me that I should always be true to myself. She said that she thought the name Dani
suited me just fine. From that day on,
she and grandpa continue to call me Dani to remind me to never forget that it’s
what’s on the inside that matters. I
wish I could believe them, but my outer appearance has been my priority since
then.”
“Well, for what it’s
worth Dani,” he teased again, “I saw
you get out of Caleb’s truck at the club and I’ve never seen you look better.”
“Haha! Very funny!”
“Caleb’s a lucky guy…”
Jamarcus was worried he had said too much.
Here he was, a total stranger, sitting in Danielle’s house telling her
how beautiful she looked when she was at her worst.
“There is no Caleb,
Jamarcus. I don’t know what you’ve heard
but we are just friends. He took me
hiking today and everything that could go wrong, went wrong. Yet everything somehow turned out being
right,”she was lost in thought.
“So what was up with
the one red glove?”
Danielle showed her
left hand to Jamarcus. The swelling had
finally gone down although it still felt itchy and prickly to Danielle. Danielle wanted to tell him all about how she
found out that she wasn’t alone up there on that mountain. She wanted to tell him about faith and prayer. She wanted to tell him of the soul searching
she had done while waiting for Caleb to come back from the ledge. She wanted to tell him how badly she wanted
to change. She wanted to tell
him…well…everything but instead she said, “You know what, I don’t really want
to talk about it right now. I’ve had a
very long day and something tells me it’s going to be a long night with this
excruciating pain.”
Jamarcus knew he had
crossed the line. He felt like Danielle
thought he was stalking her or something with such a detailed question. Just then Danielle continued, “Well…about the
hand…stinging nettle.”
“Wow, you really did
have a rough day. I should let you get some rest I guess” Jamarcus stood up to leave.
“Oh man, how am I going
to work tomorrow?” she started to panic as she looked down at her swollen and
bruised leg. The reality of her
situation hit her like a ton of bricks and she started to cry.
“When will your parents
be home?”
“Not till Monday, why?”
“Are you gonna be ok by
yourself?”
Danielle wanted to say
please don’t leave me but instead she said, “Umm, yeah, I’m good.” Jamarcus stretched out his hand and gave her
good hand a squeeze. “Before I go, do
you mind if I leave you my number? You
know, in case something comes up and you need me?” As soon as he said it, he felt like a
dork. “In case you need me?” he thought
to himself. Why was he being so forward
with a girl he barely knew? “I mean, I
live close by and could be here quickly if anything came up.” Danielle couldn’t think of any scenario that
would make her have to call him to help her.
If anything, she would call her grandparents. But she thought it a sweet gesture
nonetheless. Jamarcus grabbed the box of
tissues from the kitchen table and brought them to Danielle.
“Thanks Jamarcus,” was
all that she said, but her eyes…that look in her eyes…he had seen it somewhere
before.
“No worries Danielle,
you’ll be up and at ‘em before you know it.
I’ll let myself out so you can rest.”
“Thanks for the food!”
Danielle smiled at Jamarcus as he stepped out into the crisp evening air. The pain in her knee was becoming more
throbbing and intense. Another tear slid
down her cheek. Jamarcus paused after
shutting the door behind him. As he looked
back in through the front window, he could see Danielle. She was crying once more. Jamarcus clumsily knocked the radio station
with the corner of his knee as he got back into his truck. The radio was playing a song he had never
heard before but the lyrics seemed to apply.
The dj said, “And now, this one goes out to Kimberly from her husband Johnny…the
new one from Justin Bieber’s acoustic album, I Would…” Jamarcus adjusted the heat setting and pulled
out of Danielle’s driveway. He listened
to the lyrics of the song and wished he could do more to help “little Dani” as
her grandparents had called her.
“If
I could take away the pain
And put a smile on your face,
Baby, I would, baby, I would”
And put a smile on your face,
Baby, I would, baby, I would”
Jamarcus felt like there was a lot
more to Danielle than he had previously thought. She hadn’t even tried to flirt with him like
she had at the club. Somehow, Jamarcus
was a little disappointed that she hadn’t.
He also sensed that a lot more had happened to Danielle up there on that
mountain other than just smashing her knee and putting her hand in stinging
nettle. He couldn’t tell what was
different about Danielle, but for the first time since moving to Montana,
Jamarcus had finally found someone he wanted to date. He had never felt so protective towards a
woman. And just like the song, he wished
he could take her pain away. He would
make her smile and he would find a way to ease her pain. He pulled into his parking spot and sang
along, “Baby, I would, baby, I would”.
Justin
Bieber. I Would. Rec. 29 Jan. 2013. Island Def Jam Music Group, 2013.
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